In a previous post I wrote about the archetypes of personality. These archetypes seem to have been imprinted within each of us. To me the key to understanding is to realize at any giving time we may be acting in the father, or hero, or faithful family dog role.
Our archetype can quickly change when we enter the grip. In fact everything changes when the grip has a hold on us.
The grip is a name given to stress by Dr Naomi Quenk, the leading national expert on the inferior forth function ; the area of ourselves we are least likely to enjoy visiting. It has been described as an undesired eruption into consciousness of our deepest secrets. The grip shows up in the way we act when we are ill, fearful, lonely, tired, or hungry. She describes the grip as overreaction, single focus, and highly emotional. You’ll know you’ve been in the grip and returned when someone says to you; “That’s was unlike you.” This is often a person we are not proud of.
This forth function, unfortunately, is the area where many business decisions are made. We have all heard that change isn’t likely without pressure. In business, pressure comes from lower sales or higher expenses. During this current difficult climate both lower retail sales and higher expenses need to be dealt with daily. It is no fun.
But the decisions you make today will affect the course of you company for years to come. Remember, the grip is emotional and out of character decision making.
How can you get quickly out of the grip and back to your normal decision making style?
- Get up fifteen minutes earlier in the morning. The inevitable morning mishaps will be less stressful.
- Prepare for the morning the evening before. Set the breakfast table, make lunches, put out the clothes you plan to wear, etc.
- Don’t rely on your memory. Write down appointment times.
- Do nothing which, after being done, leads you to tell a lie.
- Practice preventive maintenance. Your car, appliances, home, and relationships will be less likely to break down/fall apart “at the worst possible moment.”
- Be prepared to wait.
- Procrastination is stressful. Whatever you want to do tomorrow, do today; whatever you want to do today, do it now.
- Plan ahead. Don’t let the gas tank get below one-quarter full; keep a well-stocked “emergency shelf” of home staples; don’t wait until you’re down to your last bus token or postage stamp to buy more; etc.
- Don’t put up with something that doesn’t work right. If your alarm clock, wallet, shoe laces, windshield wipers – whatever- are a constant aggravation, get them fixed or get new ones.
- Allow 15 minutes of extra time to get to appointments.
- Eliminate (or restrict) the amount of caffeine in your diet.
- Always set up contingency plans, “just in case.”
- Relax your standards. The world will not end if the grass doesn’t get mowed this weekend.
- For every one thing that goes wrong, there are probably 10 or 50 or 100 blessings. Count ’em!
- Unplug your phone. Want to take a long bath, meditate, sleep, or read without interruption? Drum up the courage to temporarily disconnect.
And here is my bonus offering…realize the world doesn’t have to be so hard.
Simplify, simplify, simplify. . .