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You expect a card from your mother on your birthday.

You expect the rep to pick up the dinner tab.

You expect your kids to get good grades.

And sometimes they let you down. Not to say anything bad about your mother, but we’re only human, right?

It’s somehow even more disappointing when our unmet expectations are reasonable. We’re not asking for a surprise party, but, come on, one little card?

Have you been the one who dropped the ball this week? It’s probably not too hard to remember a recent complaint from an upset customer who simply expected you to show up when you said you would with the sofa she said she wanted.

What expectations have you created with your marketing and your message? Do you keep these promises?

How do you make up for it when you screw it up big time?

What keeps you up at night?

The unpaid invoice to your biggest vendor? The grinding sound when Truck 1 changes gears?

Switch gears yourself and put on your “home” hat. Does your credit card statement keep you up at night? Your son’s grades? The leaky faucet?

Your customer is probably up at 3:00 am, too. She’s got all the same fears as you, at her work and in her home.

Don’t be surprised or insulted that you yourself are probably the basis of some of her fears. She worries that she made the right decision, that she paid a fair price. She worries that it won’t look good, that her mother-in-law will make a scathing remark about it or her friends won’t oooh and aaah over it. She’s afraid she spent a whole lot of time and money on something she’s going to regret.

How do you calm her fears? Do you let her talk about her night terrors, or do you foo-foo her phobias with platitudes and attitudes? Does your marketing message open the closet door where this skeleton might be lurking, or do you stick to happy talk? Are YOU afraid to talk about HER fears?

Are you her bogeyman or her sandman? Should she be afraid of you?

I got a little lecture at the airport today when the agent scolded me for not using the self-check in to change my seat assignment. We’ll save the topic of “talking yourself out of a job” for another day. Today let’s talk about rules.

List the Top 5 complaints you get about your company’s rules and regulations. Not the complaints you hear about price and availability and the 4-6 week turnaround for special orders, but the complaints about rules modeled by the industry then established by your company.

Is it your 9 to 5 weekday delivery hours? Your refusal to sell a loveseat away from the sofa or dining chairs away from the table? Your customer service response time?

There is so much you cannot control in your business: manufacturer’s assortments, financial terms, backorders.

What can you control? What policy, procedure, rule or regulation could you wipe off the board to accommodate your customer? What would this say to her about your company? What does the existing rule say to her now?

Are any of your rules arbitrary to your customer, set in place only to make life easier for you? What does she think about that?

“International Talk Like A Pirate Day” is celebrated every year on September 19.

So, ahoy! Let’s put the periscope up to your eye (not the one with the black patch).

What do you see, Matey? What’s on the horizon?

Do you see land ahead? Is there an area in your market that’s growing? Or shrinking? Are there new housing developments begging to be furnished? Is the population shifting around good school systems? Does your marketing target these new demographics?

Do you see another ship? What’s the competition up to? Have you visited their stores lately? Do you talk shop? Do you keep in touch with other business owners? How do they compare to you? What strategic partnerships can you form?

Do you see a damsel in distress? What are the pressing issues in your community? What causes you are passionate about? Can you meet a need?

Do you see a big empty ocean? Are you running dry on ideas? Are you adrift? Do you know the trends that are coming on the horizon? How will you implement them? Where will you go for fresh eyes on your store?

It’s the lucky Captain who looks out and sees exactly what was plotted on his treasure map. The course is charted, the landmarks measured, the obstacles avoided.

Is your ship coming in?

Have you ever been served dinner on the red plate? Not any old red plate, but THE Red Plate.

You can get one on eBay: it’s simply a plate that says, “You Are Special Today,” that’s used to celebrate birthdays or achievements or just to cheer someone up.

In our homes and in our companies, traditions say, “This is who we are and what we do. We always do this.” Traditions are comforting and reassuring. Traditions like the Red Plate take this to the next level by adding, “YOU are an important part of who we are and what we do. It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

What traditions do you have in your corporate family? How do you make your customer feel like part of your family?

Sounds like the childhood equivalent of the “Employee of the Month” parking space, doesn’t it? But I like it. I’d like to be served a piece of cake on the Red Plate.

Wouldn’t you?